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Idiot

by And And And

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1.
You said you’d tread light 
But you crushed my skull 
You know it all
 I’m sure that’s all you know
 The sickness was passed down to me By a tribe that had fallen asleep And reason led us to think We had a clue Well lately I get the feeling This is all just fake Sometimes I’m not thinking about always I’m just trying to stare into nothing
 Oh please just get o my lawn You stared at the sun
 But all you saw was gold
 You tried to stay young 
But all you got was old
 You saw something new in a dream A machine inside a machine 
Never content to just be
Passing through
2.
Idiot 03:29
Tripping down the road
 Thinking ‘bout all the things I lost Everything that I can hold
 I just as sure could drop 
Looking out the window
 And falling down the well 
I learned a real secret
‘ Cause words could never tell Wage a war against the sin
 That makes you what you are Love yourself and hate yourself Forget it at the bar 
Your head’s under the pillow
 You still hear everything Everyone’s a loser 
And everyone’s a king If I never froze
 Then I’d never be warm 
I beat it till it’s dead 
Then I kill it some more
 The idiot forgot to lock the door Feed myself with paper
 Then the paper turns to dust Feed myself with nothing Then the nothing turns to lust Everything’s an object
 And nothing is a thing 
I dress a paper doll up
 And give the doll a ring 
Wade into the river
 Where the filthy go to bathe Wash away the dirt 
And then just build it up again I found a magic drug that
 Will cure all of our ills 
Ain’t it kind of funny
 All it does is kill
3.
I hope there’s no one around 
I’m feeling my feet leave the ground I stumbled in through the timewave I heard the familiar song
 The one that’s eternally long 
But nobody ever played it I want to find it too
 But when I think it through 
It disappears into the light 
I couldn’t scratch the itch 
So I built my castle in the ditch Am I alive or dreaming I meant to say what I said
 We’d all just be better off dead Everything we touch crumbles We’re on a permanent climb Forwards and backwards in time And I want to know what falling is
4.
The Truth 02:17
The truth is that it’s all a joke
 And the taste is quite bitter 
I suppose we could change a thing or two I suppose something different Wake up in the warm sunshine Give it another day 
Everything goes away
 I am the mask that he wears To make it go away Everything goes away
5.
The only work that I could ever find Was just installing windows for the blind My aim has been a little off the mark I’m trying to thread a needle in the dark And all I want is nothing more
 Than to feed the flesh of the king
 To the ones he ignores
 You can fall in love with a bad idea But it’ll turn out wrong if you’re right What the hell are you doing to me
I t never was quite clear enough to see The tallest tree absorbs most of the light I lost the war without a chance to fight
6.
The Visitor 03:53
Oh black water take me down 
Kill the vision and the sound
 The strangest thing happens to people If you just give them some time
 Find myself locked in a cage 
All the money that I saved 
Won’t bail me out
 The key it lies within my grasp
 But I forgot how The visitor whispered something to me From the other side
I wasn’t listening
 I was thinking of something else An unpleasant heat
 The pounding of feet
 Down the hall in purgatory
 An unloaded gun
 We were just having fun
 But how are you going to shoot me Twist the screw into the wood
 Twist until it’s understood
 That each turn I take turns out worse Than the turn that I took before Snake the servant of the dead 
I’d stake it all on what he said
 But it’s bittersweet 
The knowledge that 
Everything must fall to rise again Spend my life in chains 
Inside of this cave
 Shadows are all I can see 
So how can I frame it
 The voice of the Ancients 
The language of the churning sea Oh black water take me down Kill the vision and the sound
7.
Lonely Life 03:19
I was trying to become the flood
 I was not clear-minded at the time 
Still crawling out of the mud 
 And they told me
 That there is no way out but through 
Stop filling in the hole that we dug for you It’s a lonely life
 But it’s the only one that I will live Got the Devil on my mind
 But I don’t have a soul I can give him In the meantime 
It’s clear the time’s not right It never is
 It’s something immaterial
 A refraction of the light
8.
Tedium everlasting
 Always barking up the same damn tree The pile of bricks that we’re stacking 
Is gonna fall down eventually Well shouldn’t I try
 To look it in the eye
 I just need to finish one more thing You say I’m on top 
But I know I’m not 
Everything here looks the same to me Tedium everlasting
Peace and love under lock and key Don’t even know why I’m asking Wherever I go I’ve already been
9.
A Joke 03:18
Oh that night 
She introduced me to my shadow She was unkind
 A violent ripping of the veil Slip out of my head
 To the black and the red
 It’s under the curtains 
The land of the dead 
That’s where I find
 The Overmind 
It’s realer than I could’ve realized Now I know this is all Just a joke Oh that night
 I tried to force the dust to settle
I Relaxed my mind
 But she pulled me back up through the tunnel
10.
I thought that I thought the thought That caused the world to stop 
And I was horrified
 Whispers in my ears Like a virus spreading through my brain Into your brain I tried to take it back 
But it was far too late
 My head split open wide And spread out into space Now nothing’s funny 
But I’m laughing anyway On my way out I thought that I thought the thought That caused the world to stop
11.
I tricked myself into thinking I was free I’ll do my best to reassemble me I’ll climb back down
The ladder that I came up There’s still something Hiding in the basement And it’s afraid of the light I bet I can tame it Then it’ll be mine You all say you want to live forevermore Well I wish that I were never born I’ve walked all over this world 
Thinking things that I never should 
I’ve fallen down on my face
 A frozen man in a warm embrace
 I’m so sick of the rules I follow 
Take ‘em out of my empty grave 
I got a strange obsession with tomorrow What a wonderful gift he gave to us
12.
The things I’ve barely seen
 The long-forgotten dream Somehow I lost the thread
 And I just can’t seem to find it again A prisoner in this life Who’s got the sharpest knife Walk through the open door And shut it behind me Oh I’m not that bad
 I’m not quite a fallen angel 
Just an ant that’s stuck in the hill 
Spending my days
 Watching them waste away 
Thinking ‘bout the spoke and the wheel 
Oh I’m still looking for a hole in the tapestry My senses wove within my mind 
I’m still looking for his soul in the photograph Sometimes I see it when I shut my eyes A single step beyond 
One drop in the pond
 It’s all the same in here
 So I’m always forgetting myself It’s so bright and clear My shadow likes it here 
A great wide-open space
 Where there’s no use in running away

about

And And And is a band formed in 2009 in Portland, Oregon consisting of original members Nathan Baumgartner (vocals, guitar), Bim Ditson (drums), Berg Radin (guitar), Jonathan Sallas (bass), and Ryan Wiggans (guitar). Some of them grew up listening to YES and Pink Floyd, and some of them to Fugazi and The Clash. Their sound incorporates melodic, brutal guitars and angular rhythms. The band is comfortable diverging from that path towards delicate territory with stripped back piano-based songs and vocal harmonies.
After releasing three self-recorded full-length albums between 2009 and 2011, a 10” E.P. and a 7” E.P. in 2012, a live album in 2013, and their first studio L.P. in 2015, they are releasing their second studio album in February, 2018. It is titled “Idiot.” Their previous album, “The Failure,” was largely a rumination on depression and disappointment. Their upcoming album continues to explore these themes with the addition of open-ended subject matter that looks at consciousness, knowledge, and the nature of reality.
What does it mean to be conscious? How did consciousness arise? Does it exist on a spectrum? Each coherent answer we find leads to additional questions. Knowledge and awareness have led us to create beautiful things and evil things. Life and death are a package deal. The title track, “Idiot,” addresses this duality with the lyric, “if I never froze, then I’d never be warm.” The same theme is stated in “The Visitor” with “It’s bittersweet, the knowledge that everything must fall to rise again.”
There is much more going on here than we are detecting. A person can see colors a dog cannot see. A dog can hear pitches that a person cannot hear. Those colors and pitches still exist whether we can detect them or not. The album is bookended by theme, beginning with “Get Off My Lawn” which states, “Lately, I get the feeling this is all just fake,” and ending with “I’m still looking” which contains the lyric, “I’m still looking for a hole in the tapestry my senses wove within my mind.” We are bound by senses, which act as filters that deliver the minimum information required to keep us alive. We lack knowledge of the breadth of reality. A person can look at an ant and say “that ant doesn’t know anything.” Some 4th dimensional god could look at a person and say “that person doesn’t know anything,” and some 5th dimensional god says, “that god doesn’t know anything.”

credits

released February 13, 2018

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And And And Portland, Oregon

Hello friends,

After many years of playing together, And And And has decided to call it quits.

We’re thankful for all the friends we’ve made. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to play music for a whole decade.

Love,
And And And
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